One and Only
by sometimes.it.lasts.in.love
Summary: AU Lots of MerDer drama, and a relationship going on for Alex as well. It is from a lot of peoples POV, mostly Mer and Alex. Set around Mer's fifth year of residency, except none of the MerDer stuff happened. Romance, humor, angst friendship. Bad summary!
1. Chapter 1 Day By Day

Alex stood at the nurses station charting, and as he finished the chart for Mrs. Cameron, a twenty something woman who came in for an appendectomy, he turned to the nurse sitting at the desk.

"Have you tracked down my stupid interns yet?" He said, an impatient tone in his voice.

"I've paged them three times, none of them are answering."

"Well, page them again!"

The nurse rolled her eyes and got up from her chair, grabbing her pager. Alex rolled his eyes at her back as she walked away, and went back to charting.

"Can you find your interns? None of mine are answering my pages." Meredith said as she and Cristina came up to him.

"No, I can't find them. My shift ended half an hour ago, and I want to go home but I can't until I find my stupid interns to finish off my charts." Alex said, just as Bailey walked up and handed a chart to one of the nurses.

"Karev, is there something the matter with your hands?" She said, and Alex knew Bailey well enough to know where this was going.

"Well, no, - " He started, but she cut him off with a wave of her hand, saying,

"Then you shouldn't have a problem with doing your charts yourself!" She said, giving him one of her classic 'Bailey looks', and stalked off.

Alex muttered, "Whatever" and went back to charting, as Meredith and Cristina walked off towards the pit.

"Alex needs a girlfriend." Cristina announced as soon as they were out of earshot from him.

"He does? Why?" Meredith asked, looking at Cristina quizzically. Cristina couldn't be about to do something nice for Alex, could she?

"Because I want his room." Cristina said, and Meredith got even more confused. Normally she could figure Cristina out, but this was a bit random.

"You have a whole apartment. You just moved in with Owen, remember?"

Maybe she's having second thoughts, maybe she wants to break up with Owen.

"Of course I remember. I just…remember when Derek first moved in with you, and you decided to clear out your moms den for him to use? And he felt bad, so he let you and me have the trailer for us to go if we have the dark and twisties? And then Alex and Izzie moved in and then Izzie left and now there are builders everywhere on that land? Alex needs to move out so we can have space for us to have the dark and twisties."

By the time Cristina had finished her little speech, she and Meredith had arrived at the ER.

"Okay. I think it's a good idea. And it means Alex won't be all hung up on Izzie anymore, he won't be lonely." Meredith smiled.

"Whatever. I just need somewhere to be dark and twisty." Cristina said, and then ran over to the ambulance bay.

Meredith watched Cristina go and wait for the incoming ambulance, and then walked over to the first curtain.

"What've you got?" She asked the nurse standing outside the curtain with the chart.

"Pregnant female, Molly Jacobson, 19 years old, passed out in a grocery store. Baby is 23 weeks." The nurse lowered her voice. "I also noticed when her scarf moved when she lay down that she had a number of bruises on her chest. They looked bad, you should have a look at them, maybe get an x-ray. I'll be over at the desk if you need me to get scans or anything."

"Okay, thank you." Meredith said as she took the chart from the nurse.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Grey, I'm going to do a quick exam on you if thats okay. First I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer them as specifically as possible. Who is your OB-GYN?" Meredith said as she opened the curtain.

Molly Jacobson was a small woman, so small that her pregnant belly seemed a few sizes to big for her. She was lying on the bed with her head propped up by pillows, watching Meredith take blood from her vein in her elbow. It had taken Meredith a few tries to get a good vein, but eventually she had moved to Molly's left arm and it had worked better. They sat in silence as Meredith watched the blood fill the tube and Molly watched Meredith. Suddenly, there was a loud voice carrying throughout the ER.

"Where is he? Just tell me where my boyfriend is, okay? Just tell me! Tell me! Why aren't you telling me?"

Meredith quickly walked into the crowded ER, and went over to the woman that was yelling. "Where is he? Where have you taken him? Please! Where is he?"

"Are you alright? Is there a problem?" Meredith put a hand on the woman's arm, and she jumped and slapped Meredith's arm away.

"What is your boyfriends name?" The nurse who she'd been yelling at asked softly. Meredith looked back at the woman, and was surprised to see that in the time it had taken the nurse to ask her what her boyfriends name was, she'd completely calmed down. Her face had visibly relaxed, she had stopped shaking and she was now looking just like a lot of worried people that came into the hospital looking for loved ones. Confused, shocked, scared. I looked at the nurse, and her face expressed just how I was feeling.

"His name is Kevin. Kevin Barton. Please, he was in a car accident, I just want to know if he's okay. I'm so sorry I yelled, I'm just so worried about him." Her voice was quiet, and as she spoke she rested a hand on the nurses desk, as if to steady herself.

"And you're his girlfriend? What's your name?" The nurse asked, looking down at a chart that she had picked up.

"Teresa Gibson. Is that his chart?" The woman asked, leaning over the desk to get a glimpse of the chart. The nurse abruptly closed the chart, and stood up.

"Yes, we have a Kevin Barton in a trauma room at the moment. Unfortunately, I cannot let you see him while the doctors are working on him, but I can get you a coffee or water while you sit in the waiting area down the hall."

The nurse spoke timidly, and Meredith could tell she was afraid that Teresa would start to yell again. But Teresa didn't say anything at all except, "How long until I can see him?", and the nurse replied that she didn't know.

"I'm sorry about that, there was a situation in the ER. How are you feeling, Miss. Jacobson?" Meredith said when she got back to Molly.

"I'm fine, just tired, you know. I'm always tired." She gave a feeble laugh, and Meredith smiled with her. "A nurse came by and put those papers down over there. She told me to tell you they were there." Molly said, pointing to a few sheets of paper lying on the spare chair.

"Oh, those will be your results from the blood test." Meredith picked up the sheet of paper and nodded.

"This explains your tiredness and lack of energy. You are extremely low in iron and B12. I'll just grab another doctor to write you a prescription for some iron tablets, and I think you'll need the B12 injections, because it is dangerously low. I'll be right back." Meredith smiled, and went to go and find Bailey.

She found her doing a consult for Arizona in the Pediatrics wing. "I have a patient in the pit, and the blood test results show that she has both iron deficiency anemia and pernicious anemia. Can you write her the prescription so I can give her the first injection now?" Meredith said, while showing Bailey the blood results.

"You want me to write a prescription? Aren't there more urgent cases in the ER for you to work on? She could get these pills and injections from her regular doctor." Bailey said, looking at Meredith oddly.

"I know, but there isn't anything in the pit at the moment apart from two car crash victims, and Cristina and Jackson are on those cases. I promise, if anything urgent comes in I will give her the prescription and send her away." Meredith said, and she could see the surprise on Bailey's face.

"Okay, here you go." Bailey said, scribbling down her signature and handing Meredith the piece of paper.

"Thanks."

Meredith didn't really know why she was wasting her time with Molly, but she really wanted to have a look at the bruises that the nurse was talking about, and she felt like she had to spend a bit more time with Molly first. So she was giving injections. When she could be cutting someones brain open, she was giving injections.


	2. Chapter 2 Feel It Coming

**AN: I'm sorry, I should've mentioned in the summary that Derek isn't present until Chapter 3, and he isn't really in that either. But don't worry, he'll come. Just wait for it... :)**

Cristina walked out of Trauma 2 with a sigh, and turned to go and look for Bailey. She needed another assignment, because despite Teddy, Owen, Mark and her own best efforts, the man that was in the car the got crashed into, died due to heart failure. He didn't die without pain either, due to all of the burns covering his skin. His injuries were so bad and his screams sounded so painful that she couldn't even come up with a good nickname for him. She spotted Meredith coming down the hall from the Peds wing, and ran to catch up with her.

"Hey, so, my car crash victim dude died. You got anything good?" She said, looking down at the piece of paper Meredith was holding.

"A prescription for iron pills and B12 injections? I thought you lived for cutting, not sticking needles in people." Cristina said as they walked towards the ER.

"Well, I - "

"I was just here. I'm supposed to be looking for Bailey. Bye, Mer."

Meredith watched Cristina walk back the way they'd came, and called out "Bye Cristina. Nice talking to you." And walked back to the ER with a smile on her face. Her smile disappeared when she saw them covering up a man covered in burns being wrapped in a plastic bag getting ready to be taken to the morgue. That must have been Cristina's car crash patient.

Once she had given Molly her injection, she gave her the prescription.

"Before you go, the nurse mentioned that you had some sore looking bruises on your chest. Do you mind if I take a look?" Meredith said, and moved forward to move the scarf away from the young girls neck, only to have her hands slapped away. Something in Meredith's mind told her that that was the second time tonight that she had been hit away by a patient, but she didn't react or ask questions.

"No, I am fine. I think I'll just go…" Molly said, trying to get up from the bed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, but if you have some bad bruises there is no harm in me checking them out to make sure nothing is going on. I'm not going to ask how you got them, but I really should have a look at them." Meredith said confidently.

"Okay. Just…no asking questions. Okay? No questions…" Molly said, and removed her scarf. Meredith's face didn't react to the large purple, yellow, brown and blue bruises covering her chest, but her mind took everything in.

"Are these the only bruises? These ones are quite bad, and unfortunately there isn't much I can do to help with them."

"Well actually…there is one really sore one under my ribs…it's really…sore…and I just…ouch!" Molly said, crying out in pain just from flexing her right arm to lift up her top.

The bruise on her side was so huge and it was swelling so much that Meredith gasped slightly. "I think you will need an x-ray. Come with me?" Meredith said calmly, helping Molly stand up. Again Meredith noticed how small Molly was, and she wasn't entirely convinced that she wouldn't topple over sideways.

"Where are we going?"

"I think you may have broken some ribs, and I need to check for internal bleeding, so you'll need a CT scan." Meredith replied as she helped Molly into a wheelchair.

"But, that means more people will see it, right? And they will ask questions…No. No CT, no scans, no broken ribs, no -"

"They won't ask questions. Thats not their job."

As Meredith pushed the wheelchair down the hall, she thought to herself, 'It's mine.'

Three quarters of an hour later, Meredith and Molly were in the clinic.

"I got a page asking to keep the beds in the ER free for emergent cases, so I'm going to go and see if theres a room available while you wait here." Meredith explained, and she hoped that Bailey wouldn't mind her using one of the clinics beds.

"I'll be back soon."

Cristina found Bailey talking with Arizona outside a patients room in the ER. "Yang, are you free? I need a resident on this case." Bailey said as nodded her head towards a room with a young girl that looked about seven or eight sleeping in it. She was hooked up to an IV, and had an oxygen mask on. "Yes, I was just about to ask you for a new case. Whats wrong with her? Anything to do with cardio"? Cristina asked hopefully. "No, Cristina, it is not cardio. It is a scared little girl who is going to die if she doesn't get the organs she needs. It is not cardio." Bailey said in an annoyed voice. Arizona nodded, and said to Cristina, "Why don't you come over to the desk and I'll tell you about the case." Cristina walked over to the desk while Arizona stayed back to put a hand on Bailey's arm.

"Are you okay? The transplant cases are never easy, but we just have to trust that UNOS will come through."

Bailey shook her head, and looked back up at Arizona.

"I'm fine. She's just…she is so young to have to go through this. I hardly ever see her mother here, and her father left before she was born…she is too young to go through this alone. Too young."

Arizona watched as Bailey walked over to check on Lilly's vitals, and then she joined Cristina at the nurses station, and she opened the chart.

"Lilly Davis, ten years old, has been waiting on a new liver and intestine for around a year, and if she doesn't get one in the next week, she won't make it."

Cristina read over the chart as Arizona went on explaining Lilly's condition. When she was done, Cristina looked over at Bailey through the window to Lilly's room.

"Is the family friends with Bailey? She seems kind of emotional about this case."

"No, Dr. Bailey just cares about Lilly."

When Cristina raised her eyebrows, Arizona went on to explain.

"Lilly doesn't really have anyone, her Dad left, and her Mom has some important job that means that she is never around. I'm not really sure what it is, but it must be pretty important because she isn't here and it could be her daughters last week."

Cristina nodded, and scanned the chart with her eyes once more. "This is where you ask 'Is there anything we can do to give her more time?' and I reply that that is what I need you for. You need to go to the library and find out if there is anything that will help."

"Seriously? You want me to -"

"Hey, it will put you in Bailey's good books." Arizona interrupted Cristina with an encouraging smile.

"Fine." Cristina said reluctantly, dropping her shoulders.

"Have fun!" Arizona said, rolling away to check on her other patients.


	3. Chapter 3  Breathe In Breathe Out

**AN: It's short. I'm sorry. Enjoy.**

**So it turns out i'm stupid and tired and forgot to copy and paste the first part of chapter 3. Sorry. It's there now. Oops.**

Meredith was walking around the whole hospital asking if there were any spare beds anywhere, but every where seemed full.

"Stupid holiday season. Stupid people getting drunk and crashing into things and taking up beds. Stupid person beating my pregnant patient so that she needs a hospital bed in the first place. Stupid, stupid -"

"Meredith. There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you! The Chief wants to see you, and he told me to take over whatever it is that your doing, even if it's brain surgery. And...it doesn't look like your doing brain surgery...damn. What, um, are you doing?" Lexie asked, looking around the empty hallway.

"The chief wants to see me? Why?"

"I don't know, your just supposed to go to his office. So...uh..."

"Right. I'm looking for a room for my patient. She has a massive bruise and she had a CT, and I'm 95% sure that it's going to show internal bleeding and a two broken ribs, so she'll need surgery. She's in the clinic right now, lying down, but thats only temporary because you know how Bailey is with us using the clinic as a dumping ground. Here is her chart, and page me if anything happens."

"Okay. Page me when your done with the Chief. I wonder what he wants, it must be important."

"Yeah, well, see you later."

"Bye."

Meredith was waiting for the elevator when she saw him. He looked the same. That same wavy dark brown hair, that same cocky smile, the same sparkling blue eyes. She could see every little detail, even though he was at least 40 yards away. Her first instinct was to run in the opposite direction, but she stayed where she was. Meredith felt Cristina come up beside her, and she vaguely heard her complain about having to go to the library, but her voice was mostly drowned out by her mind screaming questions. What was he doing here? Was he alone? How long would he be here? Meredith was jolted out of the stream of endless questions when she felt Cristina tugging her arm. "Mer? Mer! Hello, anyone in there? God, what is wrong with..." Cristina followed Meredith's gaze to the front lobby, and immediately saw what had captured her friends attention. Derek Shepherd. Crap. "Meredith? Mer...look at me. Look at me!" Meredith's head snapped up, and her eyes focussed on her friend's face. Meredith quickly controlled her facial expression, and put on a small smile.

"I'm fine. I'm good. He's here for business. A surgery. That's all. I'm fine." Meredith said with confidence.

"How do you know?"

"Why else would he be here?"

"Well...I...Are you sure you're good?"

"I'm serious, i'm fine. Go do research."

Cristina and Meredith got into the elevator, Cristina watching Meredith and Meredith staring straight ahead. When it got to the research library'd floor, Cristina turned to Meredith.

"Are you sure you're -"

"Fine? I always am, remember." Meredith cut Cristina off with a smile.

"Chief, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I did Dr. Grey, thank you for coming."

"Well, Lexie mentioned it might be important, and well you are the Chief, so if you page I come running. What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well, um, I'm not sure how your going to react to this, I know that you and him were close, but, ah, I wanted to let you know that -"

"Dr. Shepherd is here? I already know. Is that all you wanted to see me about? Because you are correct, we were close. But he chose to go back to his wife, and I have put my life back together and I have moved on. If Dr. Burke came back, would you page Dr. Yang to have a heart to heart with her about her feelings and whether or not it is okay for you to hire him?"

"Well, actually I -"

"You are the Chief. You hired Der...Dr. Shepherd because it will help your hospital. I am a resident, and Dr. Shepherd is a good teacher, and I am happy to learn from him. So, really I don't see a problem. And if there is no problem, I would like to get back to my patient. Can I please do that?"

Meredith exhaled once she was out of the Chiefs office. She had a strange feeling in her chest that she hadn't felt for years, and she could feel herself getting out of breath. She walked quickly to the nearest door and opened it, praying for there to be no one in there. She sighed in relief when she realised it was a supply closet. Suddenly, she remembered where she had felt this way before, and suddenly the tears started coming and breathing became harder and harder. She grabbed a paper bag and breathed into it, letting the tears fall down her face. She remembered the last time she had felt like this. She was in shock after having to unplug a DNR patient that she had saved, and Derek had calmed her down her. Except this time there was no Derek, so she had to soothe herself, and just let it pass.

"You paged me? It better be important, because I just finished my charts and now I want to either go home or find my bloody interns and inform them that they are all going to be in the pit or charting for the next week because none of them can answer their stupid -" Cristina interrupted Alex, and gave him a look that rivaled one of Dr. Bailey's on a bad day.

"Look, Alex, I really don't care right now. I don't think I would care at any time but thats not the point. The point is, Meredith is, well, she...I don't really know. She's saying she's all fine but she's not."

Alex sighed. He really couldn't be bothered with this.

"Why would she not be fine?"

"Shepherd. Derek Shepherd is _here_. As in, he is roaming around the hospital."

"I really don't think Mer really cares. She seems pretty over it."

"Oh, she seems _pretty over it_. God, you do not understand women. How can she be pretty over it, if he went all McDreamy on her and she fell in love with him and then he chose his _wife_. Satan herself. Where is Izzie when you need her? I don't know how to deal with this. Everyone knows I don't speak girl, which is normally fine when it comes to Meredith because the only time she acts like a girl is when McDreamy swoops in and screws her up."

"Whoa, you are really freaked out about this!" Alex laughed. "Fine, I'll talk to her. I don't speak girl, but I'll do my best."

"Lexie, have you seen Meredith?" Alex said as he caught up with her in the hallway.

"Yes. She is in the Chief's office. I'm covering her patient until she gets out. What is it that you want?"

"Geez, Lexie, are you ever gonna get over this big grudge you have towards me? I told you practically the first time I met you that I'm not a good guy, and now you're mad that I proved it. Seriously, I wouldn't care, except technically I'm your boss, and I need to be able to give you orders without you freaking out. Plus, you're Mer's little sister, and she's kinda mad about the fact that we aren't talking, and Derek's here so she doesn't really need anything else for her to stress about."

"Hmm. So, you do have a heart after all. A small one, but it's there. Fine, whatever, your off the hook. And who is Derek?"

"Whatever. Wait, Meredith hasn't told you about Derek? Derek's he guy she fell in love with her first year here, and then his wife turned up and they moved back to New York. I'm making it sound not very complicated, but trust me..."

"It gets more complicated?"

Lexie's eyes were wide and her jaw was slightly open.

"Yeah. I can't believe Mer didn't tell you. I guess you two aren't as close as you think."

Lexie narrowed her eyes.

"Just cause I said I forgive you, doesn't mean you can use personal things that I told you against me. If you do, I'll just hold onto my grudge even more." She gave him a small smile and walked off.


	4. Chapter 4  Rumor Has It

**AN: The updates are kinda short, so I'll try and update frequently. Please review, and thanks for reading! BTW, I added a small paragraph to the start of Chapter 3 that I forgot to copy and paste earlier. I know, I'm sorry!**

Meredith walked down the hallway, trying to ignore all of the stares and whispers. She knew why they were so interested in her today. Doctors, nurses, techs, orderlies, even the cafeteria lady knew all about the intern and the brain surgeon's failed romance. Meredith had tolerated it when she was with Derek, because it didn't matter to her what people thought, because she was happy. And then after he...left her she didn't notice because she managed dig a deep enough hole that the only thing she really cared about was surgery. But now it was starting again. Because he was back. Temporarily. But still. He was back. After her break down in the supply closet she had cleaned herself up and checked on her patient. Lexie was still looking for a room, according to Molly, so Meredith gave her some painkillers and paged a nurse to prep Molly for surgery. Again she wondered where all the interns were, but that thought only stayed in her mind for a second, because she rounded a corner and there he was again. By the nurses station. In his scrubs. She turned around and headed back to pediatrics to find Bailey to do the surgery on Molly.

"God, I'm so pathetic. Why do I have to be so pathetic! He's not avoiding me...Seriously, he just...he just thinks he can come back and...God. Seriously!" Meredith muttered as she waited at the nurses station in the Pediatrics wing for Bailey.

"So, it's true. Dr. Shepherd is back in the building. He has quite a bit of effect on you, huh?"

"What? No, of course -"

"He does, Grey, deal with it. Now, the only reason I care is because I don't want you distracted while we are trying to control Ms. Jacobson's bleeder. Are you good to do surgery?"

"On Molly? Sure. I'm fine. I can compartmentalize."

"Whatever you say. Just don't you flake out on me in the middle of this surgery, you hear me? See you in OR three in 20 minutes." Bailey said over her shoulder as she walked away.

"He does not have an effect on me!" Meredith called after her.

"You're talking to yourself Grey. I think he does."

Meredith was about to walk into the scrub room when Lexie caught up with her. "Hey, I just discharged a patient of mine so that cleared up a room for you patient so thats good...God, everyone is staring at you!" Lexie said, looking around the small OR hallway.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I know. It's because there lives aren't interesting enough so they watch me live mine like a Lifetime channel movie!" Meredith said, a bit louder than necessary.

Lexie smiled sympathetically. "So, your taking her in for an operation?"

"Yeah, she has internal bleeding that we need to get to fast."

"Did I hear internal bleeding?" Cristina said, walking up to them.

"Well, I better go. I have like a hundred charts to get through. By the way, Alex is looking for you." Lexie said to Meredith, turning around, until Cristina grabbed her arm and made her face them.

"A _hundred_ charts?"

"Well, no, that was, uh, that was an, um, exaggeration, there's only like...I don't know, theres not that many I swear!" Lexie swallowed. She was still pretty terrified of Dr. Yang, even though she was he sisters best friend.

"Go. Get them done. Tonight!" Cristina ordered.

"Do you have to be so mean? Seriously, you probably have more unfinished charts than her."

"I know. It's just fun. Whats this about internal bleeding?" "Why are you so interested? It's nowhere near cardio."

"I know, it's just...Teddy's decided that she wants to teach some other residents and not just me. Who knows why. I'm the best. I just want...need some blood on my hands."

"You know, you sound like an axe murderer. Whatever, you can't have the surgery."

"Fine. I guess I'll go back to Peds. I think I found a way to help Arizona's patient. Yay." Cristina said and walked off with her shoulders slumped. Meredith laughed and then quickly scrubbed in.

"Glad you could join us, Dr. Grey. I thought I said twenty minutes, not half and hour." Bailey said when Meredith walked in.

"I'm sorry Dr. Bailey."

"Well, come over here and learn something don't just stand there."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey." Meredith walked over to Bailey's side and relished in the calm that came over her whenever she was in the OR.

"Scalpel." Bailey barked to one of the nurses. Meredith waited for a few seconds but then realised that the nurse hadn't even heard Bailey, because she was two busy whispering to the nurse beside her. Meredith caught bits of what they were saying, basically just 'Meredith' and 'Derek' and 'Wife'.

"If you have time to gossip about _other _peoples love lives, then you have time to hand me the damn scalpel." Bailey said with a hard edge in her voice.

The scrub nurse muttered a quick apology and hastily handed Bailey the scalpel. Bailey gave Meredith a quick reassuring look before cutting into Molly's side.

Meredith walked out of the OR, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She felt so much better, and could barely remember how she felt during her breakdown earlier she was so elated. She quickly scrubbed out, and walked out into the hallway with a smile on her face. I can do this, she thought to herself. He'll be gone soon, and while he's here I can do this. I can be around him. I can do this.

"Hey, Mer, I've been looking all over for you." Alex said as he sat next to Meredith in the cafeteria.

"Hey Alex. Sorry, Lexie did said something about that, but I was just about to go into surgery so...you know. In one ear and out the other. You know, that saying always makes me think of rabbits? I have no idea why..."

"Okay...Anyway, I, uh, wanted to, um, talk to you."

"You did? Because you don't seem so sure about it." Meredith said with a smile.

"Whatever. I just want to know how you're doing. With the whole Shepherd thing. So...how are you doing?"

"I'm seriously fine. I don't know why everyones so worried. It's been like three years since he left. I'm over it. Plus, he won't be staying, he has a life in New York." Meredith said, her smile faltering at the last bit.

"We are worried because you haven't been with anyone other than one night stands since he left you, and you were just so...I don't know...broken when he left. And it took a long time for you to put yourself back together, because you wouldn't let us help. All I'm saying is...be careful. Don't let yourself fall again."

"Are you kidding me? Don't let myself _fall _again? He's married, Alex. And he won't be here for long. Don't worry, I won't be breaking or falling anytime soon. Well maybe I will. But not with him. And about the whole 'one night stand thing'? I happen to know that the only serious relationship you've had since Izzie was with Lexie, and that was hardly a serious relationship. So you can't judge me."

"I'm not judging. I'm just saying. Be careful."

"Whatever."

"Hey, thats my line." Alex stood up and winked at her, and then walked back into the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5 Set Fire To The Rain

**Chapter 5: Set Fire To The Rain**

**(AN: Unfortunately, there isn't much MerDer in this update, it is mostly Lexie. But, this part of the story does effect MerDer, so it's not too bad. I'll try and put the next chapter up ASAP. Please comment! I love to hear your feedback.)**

Lexie walked down the hall at a leisurely pace. Her shift was _finally_ over, and after around 48 hours of running around to do this and that, trying and failing to get into a surgery, any surgery. She walked into the locker room and quickly got changed, and decided that just because the last 48 hours was a failure, it didn't mean the rest of her night had to be. She looked at her watch. It was almost nine o'clock, and she didn't really feel like going to get anyone to go out anywhere in town, so she decided to go to Joe's.

"Who knows. I might even meet a nice guy." Lexie snickered to herself as she walked across the street.

"Hey, Joe, can I get a beer?"

"Sure, Lexie. I haven't seen you in a while. What you been up to? In fact I haven't really seen many Seattle Grace Mercy West people in here lately. Have you all found another local hang out? Cause Karev has a huge tab that he needs to pay off, you remind him of that."

Lexie laughed. "I will let him know. And no, we haven't found another bar, it's just with the Chief making cuts left and right...everyone is kind of on edge. And when us surgeons are on edge, we like to cut. That's probably why you haven't seen anyone from the hospital in here for a while. But lets hope that the Chief will stop making cuts soon, and all will be right with the world." She said, taking a swig of beer.

"I will never understand you surgeons. I much prefer pouring and serving drinks."

Lexie smiled.

"Hey, speaking of the hospital and people being edgy, do you know who Dr. Derek Shepherd is?" She asked curiously.

"Derek? Yeah, I remember him. He used to come in here with Meredith all the time, and then he just left. And then she started ordering a lot more tequila...Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, but apparently he's back for some reason. He's a brain surgeon right? The really famous one in New York?"

"Yup. He's pretty hardcore, apparently. He and Meredith were pretty serious there for a while..." Joe kept talking, and although Lexie was curious about Meredith's strange past with the fancy brain surgeon, at that particular moment she was more interested in a good looking, slightly older guy smiling at her from across the bar. Okay, he wasn't just good looking. He was hot. Really hot. Lexie blushed and looked down, trying to put her focus back on Joe, but she could still fell his eyes on her back, willing her to turn around again. Normally she would find so much attention creepy, but this guy didn't come off the creepy type. It was almost...sexy the way he was looking at her. She turned to Joe and ordered two shots of tequila.

"Ah, taking after your sister I see. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I'm not twelve Joe, and it's just a shot. Don't worry."

"Okay, well, enjoy. And Lexie? The guy you're eyeing up over there? He's not really your type at all. He's...I don't know, what do you guys call it? Oh, right. He's a manwhore. He won't bring you any good, and I am seriously willing to bet a large amount of money that after tonight, you won't see him again, and he won't call."

"Maybe that's just what I need. I need a little fun. I haven't even looked sideways at a guy since George died, and I'm certainly not looking for a relationship. A little sex is just what I need." She quickly downed both of the shots, one after the other, and walked over to the table the man was sitting at.

"Hi. I'm Lexie." She said, extending her hand. It wobbled slightly, and she kind of regretted downing both shots. She couldn't hold her liquor at all.

"Mark."

"It's nice too meet you, Mark." She said with a smile.

"You too. Please, have a seat."

"Thanks."

"So, is this bar any good? Well it must be, if a girl like you would come here."

Lexie laughed. "It is very good. Really great place to meet people."

"Sure." He leaned over and surprised her by kissing her full on the mouth.

"So, tell me, Lexie...your place or mine?" He said with a seductive smile. She giggled and whispered.

"Yours."

"Ah, very brave. How do you know I'm not a serial killer who kills women in their sleep?"

"Well, are you?"

Mark looked surprised for a second, but quickly covered it up and plastered back on his cocky smile.

"No, but -"

"Okay then, let's go." She said, smiling seductively and taking his hand.

"Sounds good to me." He smiled back at her, and led her out of the bar.

Meredith walked into the locker room with a sigh. After she had checked on Molly and a few of Bailey and Dr. Nelson's patients, she had quickly signed a few charts and now it was finally time to go home. She wondered if Lexie would be home, because she was thinking of having a glass of wine (or two) and she didn't feel like drinking alone tonight. It had been a pretty draining day, and she was definitely ready to either sleep or drink, and she was definitely swaying towards drink.

"Hey Mer, I caught a ride in with you yesterday, remember, so I have no car." Alex said, walking into the locker room.

"Oh, right, sorry I forgot. I'll give you a ride home. I just need to get changed, so can you wait a few minutes?"

"Yup, I'll be in the lobby. Thanks Mer."

"And, um, Alex? Would you be able to...maybe, just make sure the, uh, coast is clear?"

"Sure, Mer. If he's there I'll page you and meet you at your car." "Thanks, Alex."

"No problem."

Meredith quickly changed out of her scrubs and back into her clothes. She stared at herself in the mirror for a second, again comparing herself to Addison. It was such an unfair battle. Addison had the hair, the body, the...everything. And Meredith just had...nothing.

"Hey Alex." She said, walking up to him in the lobby.

"God, Mer, take your time." Meredith rolled her eyes at his remark. Alex was a great guy one minute, and then an ass the next.

"Come on, let's just go." She said, grabbing his arm.

"Whatever."

Derek watched them from across the lobby. He had gotten off the elevator seconds after Meredith had walked up to Alex. He watched her smile when she saw him, and then his heart clenched when she put her arm through his and walked outside with him. He wanted to follow them, to yell at her for cheating on him, but his rational mind told him that that was probably not a good idea. She was not his anymore. She hadn't been for years. She was moving on. With Karev. Good for her. He kept running those sentences through her head, and walked through the lobby to sit and wait for Mark.


	6. Chapter 6 Nothing

**Chapter 6: Nothing**

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please comment :)**

Meredith walked through her front door, laughing. Alex had definitely cheered her up a bit, but she still needed alcohol. "Do you want a glass?"

"Of wine? God no, but I'll go grab a beer."

Meredith smiled as she poured her glass, and then walked back into the living room. She wondered where Lexie was, because she was always a good drinking buddy, because she got drunk off of one glass of wine. She got out her phone and quickly called Lexie, but got voicemail. She left a short message, and the turned to look at Alex.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Uh, what?"

"Well, I mean, you're a good looking guy, and there are always nurses asking me if you're single."

"They're nurses. I don't date nurses. I sleep with them. And forget about them."

Meredith laughed and shook her head. "You really are a manwhore, aren't you?"

"Yes, I really am. I'm not going to lie. I don't mind, if it means I get lots of sex." Alex shrugged.

Meredith laughed again. "So, do you know where Lexie is? She's usually glued to her phone, but she isn't answering."

"No idea. She forgave me, by the way. Whatever that means. So that's one less thing you have to worry about."

"What even happened with you two anyway?"

"It just ended. You know. I start hanging around a girl and then she goes crazy."

"Lexie went crazy?"

"Well, she got mad at me because she didn't realize that I was sleeping with other girls, and then I asked her when we became exclusive and she just glared at me and left. And that was the end of that."

"Oh, come on, Alex, it's Lexie. She takes everything to heart, and with her sex is never just sex. She was always going to hope for something more."

"Whatever. It's over now, and I really don't mind. I think i'd rather have her as a friend than anything else. She's cool to talk to, and the sex just made everything so complicated."

"Yeah, complicated." Meredith said, her face taking on a very thoughtful expression. She took a gulp of wine. Alex had a feeling where this was going, and it was a bad feeling.

"Mer, -"

"You know, he just walked into the hospital like he owned the place. Like it was his hospital. He's not the Chief. He's not even the head of neurosurgery. He's nothing. He's nothing anymore. Nothing at all..."

"He's -"

"And he thinks he can just walk in and walk out, and not disrupt anything? And not disrupt my life? My feelings? You know, I had put him in a box. A very small, tightly sealed box. And now...he's back. And he's broken out of the box. And I don't know if...I can't deal with...what if he's..." Meredith's voice broke at the end, and the last sentence was barely understood by Alex as he sat beside her and put his arm around her. Tears streamed down her face, and she cried.

This is bad, Alex thought to himself. Really bad. Mer's not a crier. I'm not the type of person who can deal with crying. Lexie should be here. Crap, where was she? Mer hardly ever cried, the last time she had had been after George's funeral when he had found her in the locker room. He rubbed her arm, and muttered soothing words to her as she kept crying.

They stayed like that for a while, until Meredith's tears finally stopped coming and she sat up straight. She hated crying. She always felt so embarrassed when she did, because as her mother had told her, it was was a sign of weakness.

"Thanks for that, Alex. I'm pretty tired, so I think I'll just, um, go to bed now.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mer? Should I call Cristina? Or -"

"I'm fine, Alex. Don't worry about it. Thanks though." She said with a small smile.

"Mark, where the hell are you? I've been waiting in the hospital foyer for the last hour! Call me back." Derek left his fifth voice message on Mark's cell phone, and got up and paced around the small waiting area. He hated sitting still. He especially hated sitting still when he had just seen his ex-girlfriend walk off with her new boyfriend. He was about to get out the phone again when he heard his name called. He turned around to see Owen Hunt walking towards him, and he smiled. Owen was a good guy, and a great doctor. Plus, he was good to Cristina, which meant that she was happy, which meant that Meredith was happy.

"Dr. Hunt! It's good to see you."

"Shepherd, how have you been?"

"I've been uh...good. And yourself?"

"I've been great. So, you're back! That's good. It is hard managing the dark and twisty sisters without one other sane person to keep things...well...sane. How long are you staying?"

Derek laughed. "Yeah how has that been going with Cristina? I'm, uh, I'm not sure how long I'll be staying. It depends on a couple of things..."

"Cristina and I, we are doing great. She moved in with me, and there has so far been no freak out, no running to Meredith's, et cetera. What are you doing back here?"

"The Chief wanted me to come back, there's apparently a big tumor that needs operating on. Fun , fun. So, I'm glad you and Cristina worked out. That's really great."

"Thanks, Shep. And how's Addison?"

"She's...uh, well, she's good. You know, back in New York. Working. And doing other stuff." Derek smiled reassuringly.

"That's good, send her my best, will you? I better go, there's an incoming trauma. Catch up later though." Hunt said, walking away.

"Sure. Have fun with your trauma." Derek said, and sat back down. That was the great thing about Hunt, he didn't ask questions. Even when it seems obvious that something is going on, he wasn't nosy. Derek sighed and looked at his watch. Where the hell is Mark? His annoyed mind asked. He picked up his phone again, hoping Marks voicemail wasn't full.


	7. Chapter 7 Sleepwalker

**A/N: Sorry, this isn't the best chapter I've written. I don't know, it just doesn't seem quite perfect. But I'll post it anyway, let me know in the reviews what you think...**

**P.S. You know what would be a cool name for this chapter? Determined Sleepwalker...unfortunately, I don't think there is a song out there called that, and I'm determined to keep with my 'naming stories and chapters after songs' thing, so...anyway, enough of my rambling. Read on.**

The next morning, Derek walked into the hospital with a scowl on his face. He gulped down his coffee as he took the elevator up to the Neurosurgery wing and he felt a bit better after he swallowed the last of it. Only a bit.

He was signing off on a few charts when he looked up through the window in his office and saw Mark walking towards him. He scowled again, and scribbled his signature at the bottom of the page, putting a hole through the paper.

"Shepherd! I see you're settling back in well. Sorry about last night...I got, uh, side tracked." Mark said, remembering his night with Lexie. He looked back at Derek and took a step back when he saw his expression.

"Whoa, man, what's with the scowl?"

"Whats with the scowl? Are you kidding me? I waited in the lobby for two hours, Mark. Two hours of my valuable time was spent waiting for you while you went off and had a one night stand with some skank!" Derek knew he was taking his anger out on Mark, but seeing Meredith, his Meredith, with Alex last night had put him on edge, and Mark was the unlucky recipient of all of his pent up emotions.

"Geez, man, I'm sorry! If it meant that much to you, why didn't you just call? Or take a cab?"

"I called you ten times, check your voice mail, Sloan! And I did take a cab in the end, but seriously!"

Mark sat down on Derek's couch, stating silent, letting Derek cool off. His mind wondered to Derek's remark about his 'one night stand' with some 'skank'. He sure hoped it wasn't a one night stand. She was fantastic, and she was no skank. She was pretty and smart and...wait. No. He couldn't fall for her. She was twenty seven. A fetus. And he was no good for her. He came out of his reverie when Derek finally spoke in a calmer tone.

"Sorry about that Mark. Being back here...it's stirring up a few old feelings. Feelings that should definitely not be stirred."

"Feelings for Meredith?" Mark asked, already knowing the answer. He knew, as soon as Derek informed him that he was moving back to New York to be with Addie that Derek would be back in Seattle sooner or later.

"Yeah. I can't seem to shake them. Whenever I see her...I don't know. I probably just need to get out of this hospital. Drinks later?" Derek said, looking at Mark.

Mark was planning on calling Lexie and seeing if she was free tonight, but after his argument with himself before, he knew that was a bad idea.

"Sure. Drinks sounds good."

Meredith and Alex ran into the hospital and ran up the stairs to their locker rooms, to late to wait for the elevator. They had both woken up late and neither had time to shower because they were so hung over from the previous night. Well, Alex was hung over. Meredith wasn't, she just didn't get any sleep the night before because she was thinking about how embarrassed she was for crying, but mostly she was thinking about the reason she was crying in the first place. Derek. She was also worried about where Lexie was, since she was listening for the creaking floorboards signaling that she was home. The last time she looked at the clock it was 3:00am, and then her alarm went off two hours later. She had checked Lexie's room to see if she was there, but she wasn't. She did come home while Meredith and Alex were shoving their hands into a nearly empty cereal box in the hopes of getting some breakfast. They halved the rest of the cereal, and quickly shoved it in their mouths before quickly running out the door, saying a quick, "Bye, Lexie. Talk later?" as they ran out the door. Well, Meredith said that. Alex merely grunted and ran out the door.

They ran into the residents locker room and pulled their scrubs over their heads, and Meredith splashed water on her face to wake her up more, and then Alex did the same. "What time is it?" Meredith looked at her watch. "We are just on time to do rounds. If we run now. Don't worry, our interns are to scared of us to hound us on being late." Alex snorted. "Okay. Well, I'll see you at lunch?" Meredith said, jogging towards the first patient room she had to check on. "Yup." Alex called as he walked the other way at a fast pace. "Oh, and Alex? Thanks again, for, um, last night. Thanks for, you know, being there..." Meredith called, aware that several nosy nurses were watching them. "Whatever, it was no problem. See you at lunch." He said, and turned the corner. Meredith smiled, but it faded when she saw the nurse subtly pointing at her and whispering. Great, she thought. Now they probably think we are sleeping together. Meredith rolled her eyes and ran towards her awaiting interns.

Derek was operating on a tumor on the front temporal lobe to fill in time while he waited for the Richard to finish going through paperwork for the large tumor that was the supposed reason he came from New York in the first place. Derek told Richard that he wasn't sure if he was going to resume his permanent position at SGH or not, but Richard didn't mind. In fact he was pleased, because he was pretty annoyed when Derek turned in his resignation all those years ago, but now Richard was happy that Derek was even considering coming back. He knew he should go back to New York and try and work things out with Addison, but he just felt so tired of doing the _right thing_. He did the _right thing _when his wife came back to Seattle and asked him to take her back and he chose her over his girlfriend. He did the _right thing_ when he decided to move back to New York with his wife after he chose her. He did the _right thing_ all the time. And now look where it's gotten him. Back to where he started. He was taken out of his reverie by the sound of two scrub nurses whispering back and forth to each other.

"So, you'll never believe this. Meredith Grey and Alex Karev were calling out to each other in the hallway about how they were so thankful to each other for comforting one another last night."

"They are totally sleeping together..."

"Yeah well it's about time, I mean they are living together."

"Yeah. And he is hot!"

"Yeah, and you two better be talking about this poor boy with a huge tumor in his head, and not your coworkers love lives."

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd."

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd."

"Right, then. Good." He said, shaking his head. He hated gossip. Especially when it was about his ex-girlfriend (aka the woman he still loves even though he lied to her and left her) and her new boyfriend or sex-friend or whatever.

He sighed, and focussed back on the tumor. He had almost all of it out, and he decided that as soon he was done he would go and talk to Meredith and clear up this Karev business once and for all.


End file.
